On Matagi Island

This is an extremely short Wikpedia article…

So today I learned about Matagi Island, which is located in Fiji, which is one of those place I mainly know as a bottled water.

There isn’t much to say about this particular island. It’s volcanic, which is good to know, and horseshoe shaped, in case that somehow affects your feelings on it.

But what should really affect your feelings is the fact that it’s not actually an island, it’s an islet. Which, frankly, is bullshit. You can’t sell me an islet and tell me it’s an island. That’s not cool.

And the island, in point of fact, was sold. It’s privately owned, and was up until very recently inaccessible. But now it’s been opened up to hoity toity rich person divers and whatnot.

I’m assuming they’ve been informed beforehand that it’s actually an islet.

It’s a beautiful looking islet, as far as islets go. But then again, pretty much all of them look like that to me. Sands, blue waters, trees… this probably has a little to do with the fact that if you’re a resort-type islet (or maybe even an island, let’s go crazy here), you probably don’t post the shitty pictures.

Seeing as how I’m not entirely the skin diving type (though they also have fishing, windsurfing, waterskiing, and sailing, none of which am I the type, either), this island holds little appeal to me. Which leads me to wonder about other things.

Such as why did Noel Douglas, the owner of the island, open it up for tourism? Isn’t one of the benefits of being rich having your own private island?

I like to think he wanted to be a supervillain, but that building a robot army was more expensive than he thought and so he had to rent out the island he was planning to use as his secret lair to recoup costs.

What I’m saying is, a ticket to Matagi Island is a ticket towards your own enslavement and the domination of the unstoppable Noel Douglas empire…