Define “shook”, dude…
Fifteen Minutes That Shook The World is a movie based on the miracle of Istanbul, wherein Liverpool won a game of soccer against Istanbul.
Okay, I’m only assuming that it’s soccer-related. I’ve never, ever heard about Liverpool except in the context of the Beatles, and if they had beaten Istanbul to get on the Ed Sullivan show, you’d think that would have come up at least once by now.
Unless that’s what that They Might Be Giants song is about, in which case they really should have made their lyrics less metaphorical.
Also, calling it the miracle of Istanbul is kinda messed up for a couple of reasons. For starters, I’ve always been against using words like ‘miracle’ to describe one team beating another team at sports. That seems very much like a devaluation of miracles.
Healing dropsy? Miracle.
Bringing the dead back to life? Miracle.
You kicking a ball so it goes into a goal more times than the other team kicks that ball into the other goal?
Not a miracle.
That’s what’s supposed to happen.
That’s why you’re there in the first place. Because they were pretty sure that you’d be able to do that.
Second, and this is probably only evident if you live in America, in which case it’s SHOCKINGLY evident: nothing concerning soccer could possibly shake the whole world.
Third, fifteen minutes seems like too much time for a miracle. That’s like, a SUPER slow miracle in my mind. I feel like miracles should be pretty much instantaneous. Like, a miraclke should be: “Holy shit! That IMMEDIATELY happened! It’s a miracle!” Not, “Hey, this is gradually becoming more and more miraculous” until fifteen minutes later, you’re all “Yeah, so eventually that was a miracle.”
All I’m saying is that if it took Jesus fifteen minutes to turn water into wine, nobody would have seen it because everyone would have left about three minutes in.
APOSTLE #1: What’s going on?
APOSTLE #2: I dunno, Jesus has been staring at that bucket really hard and making a lot of sweeping hand gestures. He keeps promising it’s going to be amazing when he’s done.
APOSTLE #1: Pfft, like I have time for that! I’m not sure what the statistic on life expectancy are during this period. Or, really, what statistics even are. But I know for a fact life is too short for me to stick around and watch this. I’m going to Babel, see if my Berlitz courses are paying off…
The moral of the story is get over yourself, soccer. You ain’t all that…
Pryorball. 