Celebrities: they’re just like us!
So on this particular day, I find myself packing for a trip, which I will be taking with a close personal friend, as well as famed comedienne Amy Schumer and an unnamed male companion. Schumer has a brown smudge on her face, which goes unremarked upon.
When the time comes for us to leave on our trip, there is only one thing left to do, which is to turn down the bed.
Schumer and her unnamed male companion untangle the knotted covers and remove them from the bed.
Laying directly on the center of the mattress are two steaming turds.
It is in that precise moment that I realize the nature of the smudge on Amy Schumers’ face.
My friend and I exchange glances, suddenly very aware of the terrible smell that was presumably there the entire time. We smile politely and tell them that we’ll wait in the car for them to finish up.
Hustling down the stairs and out the door, I then decide that we should in fact take separate cars, and I yell as much back to them as we make out exit.
I hear the footsteps increasing in speed behind me, and I take off in a full sprint, racing desperately towards my unsullied rental car.
Waiting inside is a clean face Amy Schumer, beckoning me to hurry up before they catch me…
Pryorball. 