The Problem With Singing Shows

In which I comment on things I know nothing about; welcome to the internet…

I am a man of many opinions. Many of them revolve heavily around the design of parking lots, but sometimes I think about other stuff, too.

For instance, I have recently come under fire in certain circles (and by certain circles, I mean my mom) for what is deemed an irrational dislike of the NBC reality competition show known as ‘The Voice’.

And it’s true; I really do not care for The Voice.

Now, let us be clear, gentle readers, this is not the same disdain I hold for realities shows such as The Bachelor, which turns the very concept of love into a thing of competition instead of the endless series of scorched Earth psychological mind games that it’s supposed to be. Nor is it the contempt I have for The Biggest Loser, which is a faux inspirational show that diminishes the genuine struggle of the overweight for hazy uplift, procured by methods unobtainable by the average viewer. And it doesn’t even have anything to do with their tacit approval of Adam Levine, which is what happens when you teach a douche kit filled with hair gel how to walk and talk.

No, this dislike comes from a purer place.

I think it’s ruining singing.

Let’s put aside for a moment the fact that statistics show that consumer interest in the winners drops off significantly between their victory and whenever they reap the benefits of their television notoriety, making the whole thing kind of pointless. No, the bigger issue is that due to shows like The Voice, American Idol, and… uh, Sing Show Make It Good, which is one that I just made up because I didn’t want to reference the already cancelled X-Factor.

Anyway…

Here’s the thing: Not only are we creating a bunch of fake stars that no one really cares about, we’re training an entire generation to oversing in that way that’s become far too common in our post-Mariah world. We’re losing out on unique voices because everyone is trying to be impressive in really similar ways.

And it’s gotten to the point where good singing and bad singing are virtually indistinguishable to me. It all sounds like very loud, fairly harmonic noise.

Okay, look at it like this: We all love Nicolas Cage, right? Of course we do! But how much would we like it if every actor was Nicolas Cage?

Yes, even Jennifer Lawrence.

Yeah. Not so awesome now, is it?

I rest my case.