Blowing the lid off of animal captivity once and for all!
I am fairly certain it didn’t happen this way, but I like to think that the inventor of zoos was a bleeding heart animal lover who was convinced that all animals were homeless, and vowed to do something about it.
Again: this is not based in fact, it’s merely a better version of history than whatever the real one is.
Take a journey with me, if you’d be so kind. Back to the… oh, let’s say the late 19th century. The world is changing, becoming smaller. As people set sail across vast oceans into strange new territories, their minds expand, filled with sights never before seen, creatures beyond imagination.
But for Lord Cedric Zooningham, a terrible reality quickly became clear:
These animals had no homes.
They frolic in the wilds of Africa. They hop from tree to tree in the Amazon, and they sun themselves on the endless sands of the Arabian desert.
But what happens when it starts to rain? Or snow? What becomes of them then?
Being a gentle, loving soul, Lord Cedric couldn’t bear the thought of animals not having a place to hang their metaphorical hats at the end of a long day of hunting (gatherers, he assumed, were not allowed to own property). And so he dedicated large swaths of his not inconsiderable wealth to ensuring that animals would always have a roof over their head.
And thus, the zoo was born.
(You will forgive him the vanity of naming it after himself, I trust; a man is allowed a certain amount of pride in his works, is he not?)
Now, of course, this is completely ludicrous. The zoo was invented… well, I don’t know. And I don’t care to look it up at the moment. But it almost certainly didn’t go down like I described.
But, wouldn’t history have been a way more interesting class if it did?
Pryorball. 